Falling down the Rabbit Hole

06/25/12 - 428lbs. New number, good. I keep reading how I am not supposed to be defined by the number on the scale, and I don't understand that. If we are not defined by it, why do we care so much about what the number is?  Some people only weigh themselves at the doctor, some once a week, others everyday. I had a weight watchers instructor  that weighed every piece of clothing including her underwear, and kept the scale right next to her bed. I know it's just a number, and I know it's changing, but it feels like it's ruling my life. I feel like I'm trading food addiction for weight loss addiction. I want to addiction free, healthy, and happy. I feel like Alice when she falls down the rabbit hole....an endless cycle of going around and around. I know that's a terrible analogy and doesn't make sense to anybody but me, but it's how I feel.