Stuck

10/10/12 -382lbs      I am calling the rental company today to see about renting a Connie a car to drive back in. I am going to give her a break today and leave it at that. Today I am going to talk about me. I am stuck. Ever since the Pulminoligist told me that pushing if I'm constipated puts to much strain on my heart I've been scared to move, and my weight shows it. I have to get moving again, but I'm really scared. I know it's dumb, but it's real to me. I don't know how to blast this stupid fear out of my brain.