Stuck

10/10/12 -382lbs      I am calling the rental company today to see about renting a Connie a car to drive back in. I am going to give her a break today and leave it at that. Today I am going to talk about me. I am stuck. Ever since the Pulminoligist told me that pushing if I'm constipated puts to much strain on my heart I've been scared to move, and my weight shows it. I have to get moving again, but I'm really scared. I know it's dumb, but it's real to me. I don't know how to blast this stupid fear out of my brain.

Connie Part 3

10/09/12  382lbs    I think we are going the rental car route so that Connie has a safe car to get here in. Now we have to deal with all the stuff. her other Mom and I think the kids should pack what they want and have a yard sale and Craig's List the rest. That way they could each have a little extra cash. Of course that easy for us to say when we don't have to get any thing ready. If they could each get an extra 100 bucks score!

Connie Part 2

10/08/12 -382lbs   I am continuing my "Connie needs to come to Colorado " kick today by pointing out that I am sick, I don't know how sick, I'm scared, and I miss my daughter! One might think that she is sympathetic and coddles me. Nope, she kicks my butt. She also is very supportive and encouraging. I know she wants to go live her life, and I want her to....after she spends a little while with me. So come on Connie, Pick a date, give your notice, talk to your landlord, and get your butt here.

Connie

10/07/12-  382lbs    So I have these tests scheduled for the 25th and I'm really scared. I just want to go hide under a rock. Since that's not possible I want my daughter here. She does a very good job of telling me to grow up. But she is to scared to leave Wa. She doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. What she doesn't realize is even her other Mother thinks her son needs to get off his but and get a job. She thinks he should be paying for his own meds, and taking care of himself.

Good Friends

10/06/12 - 382lbs    It's always hard to say goodbye when you put a good friend on the plane to go home. We had lots of laughter, conversation, quiet times, and travels. It has been a very exciting week and I'm glad we had the opportunity to visit. Now it's time for my daughter to come. She might not stay long, but I need her here when I have to face all these tests.

Day Trips

10/04/12 - 382lbs.   Yesterday my Mom and Dad decided on a quick trip up to Breckenridge. It was gorgeous up there. the leaves were changing and it was cool. I loved it! I didn't love the drive up but that's normal. So in three days, I have been to Estes Park, Rocky Mountain National Park, and Breckenridge.

Measuring Up

10/03/12 - 382lbs  My daughter informed last night that I needed to go back to blogging everyday. Since I trust her more than anybody else, I will go back to blogging every day. Or at least I will try. Sue is here from Ga. It has been fun having company.  It also has made me feel like a third wheel. The differences in what I can do, compared to other people makes me feel even worse than I normally do. It seems like what I've accomplished, or how far I've come is never enough. What is it about parents and friends that can make you feel like a six year old? Why is whatever I am never enough? More importantly why do I give a damn? Why is it always a comparison?